We are often asked for assistance in finding a therapist for a child with transgender ideation.
Here we present what we have learned about therapists, and how to choose them.
Rule #1
The first rule of choosing a therapist is never, ever, engage a therapist who specializes in ‘gender’. Gender is merely one symptom of some underlying issue. Also, your teen will do their research.
Rule #2
Be 100% sure that therapy is required. Adolescent angst is pretty normal. The anxiety and depression that comes with it can be within normal ranges, too. If behavior is sufficiently worrying and persistent, then consider what is needed.
Rule #3
Always address the underlying causes. If these are not clear, then a first step would be to attempt to find out. You might suspect autism, or if the anxiety is generalised, then a regular therapist might help with initial diagnosis. Reinforcing the earlier point regarding gender, if your child is autistic, then the therapist or counsellor will be one who specialises in helping children manage being autistic. The same goes for anxiety, depression, trauma, etc.
Rule #4
When engaging any kind of professional to help with your child’s difficulties, it is important to ensure they will behave ethically. In therapy, this is about being exploratory while seeking to minimise harm. A therapist might describe themselves as ‘affirmative’ because, historically, this has been a way of relating to the patient by affirming that “it is okay to feel that way” – this is, of course, different to ‘affirming’ an incongruent sex-based identity. Sadly, many professional bodies have been ‘captured’ by gender ideology and so practitioners will be obliged by those who authorise their practice to play along with ‘gender’. It is important to establish whether or not they are doing so out of conviction or just to avoid getting into trouble (the latter is actually the more ethical approach). One way of improving the chances of finding a therapist or counsellor who is sceptical of gender ideology is to prefer older ones. They are less likely to have fallen prey to indoctrination (as well as being more experienced). In short, ask them straight whether they believe a child can actually be transgender. The answer, and how it is delivered, will be informative.
Country Specific
United Kingdom
Look at the BPC Register and ensure that the therapist is either qualified as an Analyst, Child Analyst or Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist. There is a section on people who are specifically qualified to work with young people – just be more wary of the ‘psychodynamic counsellors’ as that is a newer qualification so many might be thoughtlessly gender affirmative.