When “gender” ideation hits your home, it can be all encompassing – the research, the self-doubt, the grief, and the sleepless nights can be mentally and physically draining. A lack of blind belief in the ideology can put unprecedented strain on marriages, co-parenting, extended family relationships and friendships.

Countless stories of parent experiences, like those shared by Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT) on Substack show parents daily that they are not alone in this. Parent groups like Our Duty Canada Support provide a place to share experiences and offer support to one another when it’s someone else’s turn to feel hopeless.

There is help available for parents as they navigate the chaos felt when a child announces a “trans identity” but what about siblings and other children who may not have swallowed the entire hook, line and sinker that “Gender” Ideology sets out before them?

We cannot overlook the impact this aggressive ideology can have on other young people, particularly a sibling of a “trans-identifying” child or adolescent. He or she may be pressured into becoming or acting as a fierce ally or be made to deal with the residual impacts of their brother or sister’s sudden “new identity” very much on their own.

A sibling of a “trans-identifying” young person may have some or several of the following questions and concerns:

  • “It sucks, it’s stressful. What about me?”
  • He or she understands how and why this is happening at home and in a wider cultural context and may be the only one in the home who does
  • Forced pronoun use and compelled speech at home and at school
  • Inauthentically “identifying” with a trans sibling as an ally out of fear or obligation to “support” his or her sibling
  • Stress from a desire to support his or her sibling mixed with feelings of anger toward that sibling for causing parental and household distress
  • Being aware of underlying mental health concerns with his or her sibling and watching these issue being overlooked and minimized
  • Opposing views on the biological reality of sex versus “gender”
  • Taking on additional responsibilities at home if other family members are unable to unwilling to participate in daily living – “that’s not fair!”
  • Their teachers and schools are captured, “I can see through hit, but can’t say anything!”
  • Self-censoring thoughts at school & home about their ‘trans’ sibling for fear of being called transphobic or bigoted
  • When parents disagree – witnessing one parent being labeled as transphobic or bigoted and struggling with loyalty (who to believe)
  • Loss of parental engagement if a parent is struggling with a lost sense of parental authority, direction or drive
  • Stress of cognitive dissonance over how they see their sibling versus how they must now see their sibling and thus mistrust their senses
  • Confusion over suddenly abandoning male/female separation or vice versa with his or her sibling