It is difficult to underplay the stress and trauma associated with having a child with transgender ideation. These stressors become particularly apparent when key events occur such as when a transgender identity is announced, when the child insists on a new name and wrong-sex pronouns, when any kind of medicalization is commenced.

It is easy for parents in such situations to allow feelings of helplessness, guilt, anger, and sense of betrayal, to become overwhelming.

One key requirement for parenting through such an emotional crisis is to remain “the adult in the room”. This is far easier said than done.

Top Ten Self-Care Tips for Parents Dealing with Adolescent Challenges

1. Prioritize Your Own Mental Health:

  • Take moments for self-reflection and recognize your own emotional needs. Prioritize self-care activities that contribute to your mental well-being, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling. Getting into nature is highly recommended.

2. Establish Boundaries:

  • Clearly define boundaries for yourself and your child. While maintaining open communication, establish limits that ensure both your well-being and your child’s safety. Consistency is key.

3. Build a Support System:

  • Surround yourself with friends and family who offer understanding and encouragement. Share your experiences with trusted individuals, and don’t be afraid to lean on others during challenging times. This is why we developed the Our Duty Parent Peer Support Model.

4. Educate Yourself:

  • Gain knowledge about transgender ideation, adolescent development, behavioral issues, and mental health. Understanding the underlying issues can empower you to respond more effectively and empathetically to your child’s struggles.

5. Practice Effective Communication:

  • Foster open and honest communication with your adolescent. Encourage them to share their feelings and concerns while expressing your own in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Active listening is key.

6. Carve Out Personal Time:

  • Dedicate moments in your schedule for activities you enjoy. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or pursuing a hobby, creating time for yourself is crucial for maintaining balance amidst chaos.

7. Stay Connected with Your Partner:

  • If applicable, maintain a strong connection with your partner. Collaborate on parenting strategies, share responsibilities, and provide emotional support for each other during challenging times.

8. Take Breaks When Needed:

  • Recognize when you need a break from the intensity of the situation. Whether it’s a short walk, a weekend getaway, or just a quiet moment alone, granting yourself respite is crucial for maintaining resilience.

9. Seek Professional Support:

  • Reach out to therapists or counselors specializing in family issues. Professional guidance can provide you with coping strategies and insights to navigate challenging situations.

10. Focus on the Positive:

  • Amidst the difficulties, consciously look for positive aspects in your relationship with your child. Acknowledge and celebrate small victories, fostering an environment of encouragement and support.

Navigating the challenges of parenting an adolescent with transgender ideation is a journey, and self-care is an essential component of your well-being. Prioritizing your mental and emotional health equips you to better support your child during tumultuous times.